A Terrible Mistake
by CountryPixie
Summary: Ba'al may be dead, but he's still causing trouble. When SG-1 unwittingly stumble across an old trap that only Ba'al can release them from, they'll need their usual ingenuity and determination to escape. And did I mention patience?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 is the property of MGM and Syfy, not me.

A/N: This story is not a romance, but to be fair, I should warn you that there are heavy amounts of D/V UST in later chapters. There are also slight mentions of S/J and C/C, but they're so slight you'll miss them if you blink. Anyway, on with the story.

A Terrible Mistake  
By CountryPixie

Chapter One

Cam sighed as he took another look around the gate room. Was he imagining it, or was the SF in the left corner looking a bit too amused? He glanced at the other SF – oh, yeah, they were definitely too amused. Before he could decide on a suitable punishment, Cam's eyes fell on Teal'c and Sam. Maybe it was a little funny.

Teal'c was probably the only person in the galaxy who could look intimidating while wearing a purple zoot suit. Underneath the signature knee-length jacket was a white shirt and a light silver tie. The silver shoes and top hat completed the outfit. Teal'c looked uncomfortable, but Cam knew it was more because he was only allowed one zat than because of his apparel.

Sam, on the other hand, looked like she would gladly use her one hidden zat to shoot the next person who looked at her. Her red flapper dress came just below her knees and had a large black diamond pattern on the chest. The dress wasn't too bad, but the headband with the huge black feather was. Still, Cam suspected that the high heels were the real reason behind her current mood.

Just as Cam was starting to sympathize with the SFs, he remembered what he was wearing. His dark gray suit was lined with vertical light gray stripes; his shirt was a light silver, and his tie a bright red. He wouldn't have a problem with the suit, but the hat and shoes matched his tie. Cam was just waiting for the "There's no place like home" jokes.

"This had better be worth it," Cam muttered to no one in particular. All he got in return was a glare from Sam and a nod of the head signifying agreement from Teal'c. And was that a snort from one of the SFs?

"…supposed to blend in, Vala. You're going to stand out like a sore thumb!"

"I saw some dresses like this on your Internet. I simply made some minor modifications to what I was given."

"You can't do that, Vala," Daniel was saying as they entered the gate room.

Cam took in the sight of his tardy teammates. Daniel was wearing a black zoot suit with a white tie and black and white shoes. His hat was black with a white band. Right behind Daniel was Vala, who was wearing…not much.

"Whoa, little lady! That is not what you were issued for this mission," Cam said.

"You like it?" Vala asked, twirling around to show it off. The sleeveless dress was all white, as was the feather in her headband over her short black wig. She had a black boa draped over her arms, a black clutch purse, and her black heels must have been four inches high. The real problem with the outfit, however, was that the dress barely made it down to mid-thigh. No, scratch that. Upper thigh.

"Would someone please tell her she can't go as long as she's dressed like that?" Daniel asked, clearly at the end of his rope. "We're supposed to be flying under the radar here, and she's going to attract attention."

"Jealous, darling?"

Cam stepped in before the bickering could escalate. "Look, we can't afford to miss our contact. We don't have time for a wardrobe change. Vala, where's your zat?"

"In my purse, silly. I couldn't very well strap it to my thigh," Vala answered.

"You could if you were wearing what you were supposed to," Daniel quipped.

"I am the one who has experience with this type of business. Trust me, a good outfit can be better than a weapon sometimes. In this case, I have both."

"A good outfit being one with as little material as possible," Daniel said sarcastically.

Cam blocked them out. "Walter, dial it up."

"Come on, Sam, lighten up," Cam said as he nudged her arm with his elbow. "It's not every day we get to infiltrate the equivalent of a 1920s gang."

Sam looked as if she wanted Cam to burst into flames right there. "I notice you're not the one wearing ten pounds of makeup or going through the gate in three-inch heels."

"Could be worse."

"How?" Sam asked, not expecting a good answer.

"Your dress could be shorter than Vala's."

"I do not believe so, Colonel Mitchell. If the dress were to be any shorter, it would be considered a shirt," Teal'c chimed in.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Cam agreed as the wormhole stabilized. "Okay, team, remember: don't reveal your weapons unless there's an imminent threat of capture or death. Teal'c, Sam, and Vala have the zats; Jackson and I each have a 9 mm. We separate as soon as we're through the gate – Jackson and Vala, me, Teal'c, and Sam. Radio silence until 1600 hours or an emergency. If all goes well, we'll be back in time for dinner. I have it on good authority they're servin' roast beef," he finished with a grin.

Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c all nodded, while Vala asked Daniel if he'd take her out for dinner.

"All right, let's move out."

The walk up the ramp was a little different in dress shoes, and Cam was starting to understand why Sam was so upset. If his bright red shoes made him miss his boots before leaving the planet, heels would make Sam's behavior positively saintly.

The planet he emerged on was like most of the planets they visited – lots and lots of trees. The only difference was that beyond some of those trees was a large trading village with a less than honorable reputation. SG-3 had run into some trouble on a formerly friendly planet, but some of the natives had revealed that the trouble came from this planet. The _Odyssey_ had been sent to do surveillance, and when the pictures showed a Roaring Twenties culture inhabiting a village from the 1800s, Daniel had insisted on going. SG-1 was to find out what was going on that held so much power over other planets. Hopefully they'd be able to contain the problem before it spread much further.

"1600 hours. Let's try to stay out of trouble on this one," was all Cam said before he, Teal'c, and Sam went off to the left, and Daniel and Vala went straight ahead.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Daniel, _please!_" Vala begged.

"No! I am not going to carry you! You shouldn't have worn such ridiculous heels."

"I was _issued_ these heels. Weren't you the one saying that we have to wear what we are given?"

Daniel sighed again. They still had at least a mile to go before they reached the village, and it wasn't Vala's fault she was wearing heels. Daniel glanced over at his partner, noting that she really did appear to be in pain.

"Fine," he huffed.

"What?" Vala asked, certain she was hallucinating.

"Get over here before I change my mind."

Within seconds, Vala was standing in front of Daniel, looking at him expectantly. Gathering that she expected him to carry her in his arms, he simply rolled his eyes, turned around, and crouched down.

"What _are_ you doing?" Vala asked.

"I'm not carrying you in my arms for a mile," Daniel explained. "You're lucky I'm even willing to do this."

"Darling, we're supposed to be partners, hence the matching outfits. What kind of person would carry his partner like that?"

"A normal one!" Daniel responded as he stood up and turned to face Vala.

"If we were to be seen by any villagers in such a position, it could arouse suspicion as to the validity of our identities."

Coming dangerously close to the end of his rope, Daniel opened his mouth to respond, but quickly shut it when he heard a noise in the woods to the left of the trail. A quick glance at Vala told him she had heard it too. Before they were able to take cover, a man stumbled out from behind a tree with his hands held up, trying to show that he was no threat.

"Please, listen to what I have to say. Your friends are in great danger."

"Our friends?" Daniel asked. He could see Vala put her hand in her purse in case she needed her zat.

"Yes, three of them. They were to meet Tyron in the village, but the village already knows of their presence. Your friends are walking into a trap."

Daniel moved to alert his teammates on the radio, but the man stopped him. "They are already under surveillance. If you contact them now, you will only serve to expose your positions."

"Who are you?" Vala asked.

"I am called Neiram. Please, follow me."

"Wait a minute," Daniel said quickly, "we're going to need a little more to go on here."

"I will explain soon, but we must move quickly. Search parties looking for you have already been dispatched."

Daniel looked at Vala to see what she thought; she shrugged, and he repeated the motion a second later. "All right. Lead the way."

* * *

The cell Cameron found himself in when he woke up was eerily similar to one found on a Goa'uld mothership, with the exception that the door had been replaced by bars. His headache intensified as he tried to imagine who was responsible and could think of no one.

"Sam? Teal'c?" he called out.

Sam's worried voice answered him. "Cam! Thank God! We were afraid you'd been taken somewhere else."

"'We?' Teal'c's here?"

"I am, Colonel Mitchell."

"Jackson and Vala?"

"We are unaware of their location."

"What the hell happened? Where are we?"

"Not sure, but judging by the architecture, I'd say we're being held in a Goa'uld facility," Sam said.

"Yeah, thought so. Any ideas whose old stompin' grounds these are?"

"No, and there's no way of knowing while we're stuck in here. I've been trying to override these controls, but I'm not having any luck."

"Well, someone should be by soon now that we're all awake." Cam's words had no sooner left his mouth than the door to their cell block opened and three men stepped inside. They each made their way to a cell and dragged the occupant out. Cam was glad to see that Sam and Teal'c were both as unharmed as he.

"Howdy, boys. Ya know, if you wanted to meet us, you could have just invited us to dinner." The men said nothing as they began to drag their prisoners out of the cell block and into the hall. Cam gave up on trying to goad his captors into making a mistake as he devoted his full attention to memorizing the route they took and any connecting hallways. The only thing out of the ordinary in the room they were eventually led into was the five empty throne chairs that looked as if they had been taken straight from a Ha'tak. Cam felt his heart sink as he recognized the symbol above the chairs.

"Is that –?"

"Ba'al's mark," Teal'c ground out.

* * *

A/N: Like it? Don't like it? So horrible I need to go jump off a cliff? So amazing I should be given a parade? Or somewhere in the middle, like...worthy of a review?


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I really wish I could say Stargate was mine, but I can't.

A/N: Warning! This chapter contains extreme UST! Or maybe SSST - slightly satisfied sexual tension. I'm not sure which one is more appropriate. I'll be quiet and let you read it so you can decide.

A Terrible Mistake  
By CountryPixie

Chapter Two

Still staring at the Goa'uld's mark, Cam said, "As I see it, there are three things that could be goin' on here. One, Ba'al's dead and his fanatic followers are pissed at us. Two, Ba'al's dead and we've been captured by some Goa'uld who's trying to fill the power vacuum but can't afford to redecorate. Or three - Ba'al is alive. Please, _please_ tell me Ba'al is not alive."

"It is possible he's still alive," Sam said, looking troubled. "We killed the last of the clones, but the real Ba'al could have removed his tracking device." Sam was silent as she continued to think about their situation, eventually shaking her head. "I really don't think that's it, though. It's been three months since his execution and we haven't heard any chatter. It's not like Ba'al to lay low."

"You know of Lord Ba'al?" a diminutive man asked as he stepped into the room.

Turning to face him, Cam replied vaguely, "We've had some dealings with him in the past. Who are you?"

"I am Kasdi. Lord Ba'al has given me the great honor to serve him in the task of apprehending his greatest opponents," the man said as he circled the captured members of SG-1. "If you know Lord Ba'al, then you know that there is no hope of escape. My lord designed this facility – in fact, this whole town, himself."

"Ba'al designed this town?" Sam asked. "Why?"

"To lure you here. I do not pretend to understand why you are so important, but he was quite adamant that should he build it, you would come."

"Man, now he's gone and ruined a perfectly good movie," Cam complained. "Where is Ba'al?" he asked, hoping to talk some sense into the man.

"On his way here. When the town was completed, he left, leaving behind this device," Kasdi said, pulling a slowly blinking device out of the pocket of his zoot suit.

"Subspace transmitter," Sam mumbled under her breath.

"I activated it the moment you arrived on this planet. My lord should be here at any time."

"You do know Ba'al's dead, right?" Cam asked.

"Impossible. Gods cannot die."

"Oh, not this again," Cam muttered. "Teal'c, you wanna give it a try?"

Teal'c inclined his head toward Cameron and then turned toward Kasdi. "Ba'al is no god. He is a Goa'uld, a parasite controlling the body of a human host." Teal'c would have continued, but Cam waved him off.

"Look," Cam said, "if it's not true, then there'd be no harm in sending someone through the gate to check it out. Every other planet in the galaxy knows Ba'al is dead."

"There is no need. My Lord Ba'al will arrive soon. You will wait here until then." With that, he turned and left the room, followed by the three guards.

Cam turned to Sam and Teal'c. "So, what now?"

* * *

Following Neiram, Daniel and Vala worked their way through the trees, the forest getting thicker as they went. After ten minutes or so, the trio came upon a small clearing. Neiram stopped, saying, "We may talk here for now, but we must not remain for long."

"What's going on?" Daniel asked.

"The village you have come to investigate is a trap, designed specifically to capture you and your teammates. There is a device near the Stargate that alerted the villagers that you had finally arrived."

"What kind of device?" Vala asked.

"I know not," Neiram replied. "I only know that it was set to detect you and your friends specifically."

Daniel looked to Vala for an explanation. "I'm not sure," she said. "He may have created something to sense our locator beacons, or we could have been tagged in any of our past dealings with him."

"How the technology works is not important. Had you continued on the path, you would have been captured, as your friends have likely been."

"How did Ba'al even know we were coming?" Daniel asked.

"He did not explain his reasoning to us," Neiram answered, "but from what little we were able to discover, we believe that the clothes he makes us wear and the design of the village are an integral part."

"That's what made you want to come in the first place," Vala said to Daniel.

"…and based on our responses to similar situations, he knew if this place caused trouble, we'd come investigate, and then he'd capture us," Daniel finished.

"But why? We'd spent so much time working with him, why go after us now?"

"Just because we worked together doesn't mean Ba'al ever stopped being a Goa'uld who wanted to see us dead," said Daniel. "We still caused him a lot of grief."

Vala began to ask another question, but Neiram interrupted, saying, "There is no time. The search parties will find us soon. You must follow me to the village."

"Slight problem, there," Vala pointed out. "They _might _see us."

"If anyone asks, you are my brother and his new bride. Please, come." Before either Daniel or Vala could ask any more questions, Neiram turned and began to make his way through the forest once again.

Vala grabbed Daniel's arm as she moved to follow Neiram. "Don't look so glum, darling. We just became partners with benefits."

* * *

Neiram quickly ushered Daniel and Vala into his house. The trip through the village had been uneventful, thanks to the fact that most of the populace was in the forest searching for them.

"Stay hidden. I must leave and join the search parties." With that, Neiram turned and left.

"That man needs to learn to slow down and smell the lilies," Vala said.

"Roses," Daniel said distractedly, looking around the house.

"What?"

"The saying is, 'Slow down and smell the roses."

"But those plants we saw outside looked like lilies, not roses," Vala insisted. When Daniel didn't reply, Vala continued, "Another one of your planet's pointless sayings that don't pertain to real life, I assume?"

"You got it," Daniel said, still looking around. "There's nothing down here. Think we should head upstairs?"

"That eager to get me into bed?"

Not dignifying her question with a response, Daniel headed up the stairs. Vala followed, jumping onto the bed when they entered the bedroom.

"Do you think we need fake names?" she asked. "This whole situation is reminiscent of our experience on Ver Ager, and it would be a nice way to honor Harrid and Sallis."

"Fine." Daniel had finished looking around and was standing with his hands on his hips. He crossed to the window when he heard voices outside, seeing a large crowd gathering. "Something's going on," he said, waving Vala over.

Joining Daniel at the window, Vala leaned over his shoulder. They could see dozens of people emerging from the forest and meeting at the center of town to listen to a small man. "Guess the search parties have been recalled."

"Yes, but why? We obviously haven't been found."

"Nap time?" Vala suggested unhelpfully. Daniel rolled his eyes and refocused on the group.

"Well, that was a short meeting. Wonder what it was about." The citizens were already dispersing, each entering their own houses. Daniel and Vala could see Neiram make his way to his house, but before they could go downstairs to ask a few more questions, they heard Neiram yell quietly, "Do not come down. We have been ordered to change out of the clothes Ba'al gave us and then resume the search."

Daniel and Vala exchanged confused looks. "Wardrobe change?" Vala asked Daniel.

"Makes sense. If we're the only ones wearing these outfits, it will be a lot easier to spot us."

A few minutes later, the villagers could be seen leaving their houses wearing the standard robes worn on Goa'uld ruled planets. Each person was weighed down with several suits or dresses.

"They have to turn their clothes in? Those guys are strict."

"Yeah," Daniel said slowly. "Guess they don't need them anymore now that we're already here. They've effectively trapped us."

"So, what are we gonna do?"

"Stay here, for now. When we don't return on time, Landry will either send a team through the gate or send the _Odyssey_ to pick us up. If the others have been captured, I don't think these people will do anything until they have us too."

Vala wondered back over to the window and looked out without being able to be seen from the outside. "Why haven't those people rejoined the search?"

"Huh?"

"Well, all the other groups are heading back into the forest, but a couple are just standing around. No, wait. They're doing something…I can't quite see from this angle. Can you see from that window over there?"

After a few moments of trying to see who Vala was talking about, Daniel spotted the groups. "Oh, no. They're searching the houses."

"That's not good."

"No, it's not. There are no clothes up here. I'm going to go see if Neiram has any downstairs." Before Daniel could take more than a few steps, a group of men could be heard approaching the house.

"What now?" Vala whispered.

Daniel shrugged. "I don't know, but if they find us in these clothes..."

"What if we didn't have the clothes?"

"As if two adults sitting around in no clothes wouldn't raise suspicions," Daniel whispered sarcastically.

"We _are_ pretending to be newlyweds."

"And what about our clothes? Where are we going to hide them?"

Vala pulled her zat out of her purse. "Three shots."

"You've got to be kidding me," Daniel said. Frustrated with his lack of options, Daniel groaned as he shrugged out of his jacket and threw it on the floor, taking a second to throw his gun and the GDO on the bed. The rest of his clothes soon joined the pile, but he hesitated when he reached his boxers. Glancing up quickly, he saw Vala, still fully clothed, hopping in place with her arms behind her back.

"What are you doing? Hurry up!"

"The zipper's stuck! I need help."

"Come here," he said, not waiting for her but instead crossing the room to Vala. He grabbed the zipper, but it wouldn't budge. Hearing the door open, Daniel gave up and ripped the dress from Vala's body. Stunned, Vala didn't move until she heard footsteps on the stairs. She shot the pile of clothes three times while Daniel scooped up the gun and GDO, and then she and Daniel dove under the quilt and pulled it up to their necks. Having been making too much noise to pretend to be sleeping, Daniel rolled on top of Vala and began to kiss her.

Still reeling from having her dress literally ripped off, Vala was more than willing to make the kiss look authentic. Moaning into Daniel's mouth, she hooked one leg around his knee and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Teetering on the edge of a very slippery slope after seeing Vala in her practically nonexistant strapless bra and panties, Daniel lost his footing when she moaned. His hands drifted down from her hair to her waist and he began to explore her mouth with his tongue. Just as he went to move from her lips to her neck, the door burst open and two men entered. Remembering exactly why he was on top of his teammate, Daniel moved so that he was between Vala and the men.

One of the men briefly left the room and yelled, "Mitra! I think you'll want to see this." He came back in and joined his partner in staring at Daniel and Vala.

"What is it, Suotra?" the leader of the group asked as he walked into the room. For a split second, Daniel thought it was Makepeace's twin, but this man was bigger and uglier. Taking in the scene, a smile spread across his face. "So," he drawled, "you think you're too important to take part in the search as ordered. Let's see what Kasdi has to say about that. Get up."

"This is all a big misunderstanding. I'm Neiram's brother, and this is my new wife. We were supposed to come next week, but, well…here we are," Daniel finished lamely, seeing that his explanation fell on deaf ears.

"Any visitors are to be taken to Kasdi. It looks like you're meeting him either way. Up. NOW!"

Giving Vala a quick nod, Daniel through the quilt back and Vala fired. She managed to take out all three men in the room, but she wasn't quick enough to take out the three men who charged into the room when they heard the zat. Dropping her weapon, Vala raised her hand in surrender, Daniel doing the same next to her.

"That worked well," she said.

* * *

A/N: So, some answers in this chapter, but even more in the next ones. As always, reviews are greatly appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I know this comes as a shock to you all, but I do not own Stargate. If any of you do and wish to give it to me, I would gladly accept it, but I'm pretty sure you don't own it either.

Funny Tale Not Related to the Story: I just came from my Religion and Science class, where my professor was talking about Carl Sagan's view that life could exist on other planets. He was explaining how the theory fit into the Star Trek universe because there would be different species due to their own evolution. He added that Carl Sagan probably would not support the Stargate universe in which the galaxy was populated by the ancient humans of Earth. I have a new favorite professor.

A/N: There's not a lot of action in this chapter, but I should mention that the uniforms that are mentioned in this chapter are the ones seen in _Abyss_. Oh, and digital cookies (as in the sugar or chocolate chip kind) to everyone who catches the S/J reference in this chapter.

A Terrible Mistake  
By CountryPixie

Chapter Three

"Drive-in movie."

"Nope," Sam said, shaking her head.

Cam sighed. "Cow tipping."

"Not even close," she chuckled.

"In-line skating."

"No." Sam grinned, wriggling the nine fingers she held up. "Only one more. Make it a good one."

"Damn," Cam said, leaning his head back on the wall he was sitting against, having decided to forego sitting in one of the chairs. He was silent for several minutes before he suddenly leaned forward. "Okay, I got it," he declared. "Rock climbing."

Cam had thought it was impossible for Sam's smile to get even bigger, but it did. "Strike ten. I win."

"What's the answer?"

"Fruit picking," Sam said simply.

"Fruit picking? You picked fruit on your first ever date? No wonder he didn't last."

"No, it was really sweet," Sam defended. "We picked strawberries and then ate them for dessert after the picnic he packed for us."

"So what was wrong with him?"

Sam hesitated. "Carter?" Cam pushed. Even Teal'c looked over from his post near the door.

"My dad made me break up with him when he found out that Jason was nineteen and I was fifteen. I guess I've always had a thing for older guys." Realizing what she had just said, Sam tried to deflect attention away from herself.

"So what's your most embarrassing secret, Cam?"

"Aw, you don't want to hear it," Cam said, trying to weasel his way out.

"You are incorrect, Colonel Mitchell. We would very much like to hear it."

Cam turned to face Teal'c. "Now, hold on there, Benedict Arnold. The bet was that I had to tell Carter my most embarrassing secret if I lost. I don't have to tell you." Teal'c acknowledged the fact with a small bow.

"He's going to find out anyway, so you might as well just say it," Sam said, clearly enjoying seeing Cam squirm.

"Why would he…? Oh, all right. But this doesn't go beyond this room." Taking a deep breath, Cam said, "My high school's mascot was a bee, and we had this huge statue of him – fourteen feet tall at least. If our football team won the homecoming game, the MVP always got to place a crown on his head. I was the MVP my senior year, so I got to do it. On my way back down the ladder, my pant leg somehow got caught on a part of Buzzy. I ended up losing my balance and falling off in front of the whole school."

"That's really not _that_ embarrassing," Sam pointed out.

"Oh, it gets better," Cam said. Sam mimed zipping her mouth and motioned for Cam to continue.

"I was a little dazed from the fall, but I looked up and saw a pair of pants hanging from Buzzy. Yep, you got it. Mine," Cam said, pointing to himself.

At this point, Sam burst out laughing. "You started losing your pants that long ago?"

"Colonel Mitchell, I have never known another human to lose his pants as often as you have." Sam only laughed harder.

"Hey, it's not my fault!" Cam protested.

Sam was about to continue teasing him when Teal'c held a hand up to silence them. Hearing footsteps, Teal'c immediately hid out of sight by the door so that he could ambush whoever walked through. He tensed in preparation when the door opened, but no one walked through.

"This room now has a force field surrounding it, so any attempt to escape will be pointless. Teal'c, please join Colonels Mitchell and Carter in the middle of the room." Teal'c scowled as he walked towards his teammates.

"It's not like it ever works anyway," Cam said consolingly.

Kasdi, now dressed in the uniform Ba'al reserved for his most faithful jaffa, entered the room, followed by two of the guards. Smiling smugly, he said, "I have just been informed that my men have captured your two companions. They should be along any time now."

"What are you going to do with us?" Sam asked.

"I am going to do nothing. You will all remain here, untouched, until Lord Ba'al arrives."

"We've been over this already! He's _dead_," Cam said.

"If my Lord had not ordered that you not be harmed, I would kill you where you stand for such blasphemy."

Before anyone could respond, there was a commotion in the hall. After lots of yelling and a thud that sounded suspiciously like someone being shoved against a wall, Daniel was soon pushed through the doorway with such force that he went skidding across the floor on his left side, only stopping when he slammed into the base of one of the chairs with a resounding thud. Vala was led in behind him with a guard gripping each arm. Their teammates could only stare in shock at both the violence of the entrance and their attire – or lack thereof.

Kasdi stood silent for a few seconds, clearly not expecting his prisoners to arrive with such little clothing. Clearing his throat to get everyone's attention, he said, "You will be summoned when Lord Ba'al arrives." With that, he took the guards and left.

"Great job, Vala," Daniel said sarcastically as he stood up, rubbing his shoulder. "That plan worked _so_ well."

"How was I supposed to know any visitors had to be brought in? It would have worked if not for that."

"No," Daniel began, but Cam cut him off.

"Whoa! Everyone just settle down." Daniel and Vala continued to glare at each other, but they didn't say anything else. "Now," Cam said, "you guys alright?" They both nodded. "Well then, does someone want to explain what happened to your clothes?"

"Vala disintegrated them with her zat."

"You agreed to it."

"There didn't seem to be any other option at the time!"

"Agreed, so can we please move past this?"

"Fine," Daniel huffed.

"Fine." The pair descended into silence once again. "What?" Vala asked when she noticed the other three still staring at them.

"Why are y'all in your undies?" Cam asked again.

"How much do you know about what's going on here?" Daniel asked, waving his hands around to indicate that he was talking about their captivity rather than lack of clothes.

"Not much," Sam answered. She shot a puzzled look at Teal'c as he took off his jacket. Her confusion dissipated as Teal'c handed his jacket to Vala, who accepted it with a smile. "We only know that Ba'al's behind it and it supposedly on his way."

"Yeah, Shorty doesn't seem to realize that ain't gonna happen," Cam added as he gave his own jacket to Daniel.

"Well, from what we've been able to figure out, Ba'al designed this whole town as a trap for us. He must have studied some history while he was living on Earth, because he used his knowledge to set up this town so that he knew I'd be unable to stay away if I ever learned of it. The town's reputation for causing trouble got our attention, and it meant we'd be coming in undercover without most of our gear," Daniel explained. While he was talking, he and Vala had wordlessly switched jackets since Teal'c's fell right off of Vala.

"I've got about twenty other questions now, but you still didn't answer my first one."

"A member of the resistance stopped Vala and I on our way to the village and took us to his house with the story that I was his brother and Vala was my new wife. It would have worked, but _Shorty_, as you called him, made everyone change out of the suits and dresses and turn them in."

"Yes, yes, yes," Vala said. "Then some men searched the houses, and our only option was to disintegrate the clothes, jump into bed, and have sex."

"What?!" Sam and Cam both exclaimed, while Teal'c raised both eyebrows and Daniel spluttered as if he'd just been pulled from a river after nearly drowning.

"We did not have sex!" he shouted.

"Of course not, darling, but that's what we had to make it look like."

Daniel was still making odd noises, so Cam jumped in. "Here's a question: Why did you have to disintegrate the clothes?"

"So the search party wouldn't see them on the floor," Vala explained.

"Why didn't ya jump into bed fully dressed? There was a blanket, wasn't there?"

"Any thorough search would have required them to check under the blanket. It would hardly make sense for newlyweds to be fully clothed in bed," Vala said.

"Besides, we had about ten seconds to come up with the plan," Daniel defended. "You'd have done the same thing in our situation."

"No, Jackson, I don't think I would have. I would've had Vala distract the men like she does so well, sneak up behind them and knock 'em out silently, and then get any guys that had stayed in the hall. Even I could have kept my pants on in that situation." He glared at Sam when she snorted in disbelief.

"It doesn't matter anymore," Vala interjected. "We're all here now, so how do we get out? Sam?"

"Even though it looks like a Goa'uld mothership, there are absolutely no controls in this room. Ba'al obviously designed this room just for us."

"So it looks like we're stuck here until the _Odyssey_ beams us out," Cam said.

Daniel and Vala exchanged looks. "I don't know that that's going to be possible," Daniel said.

"Why not?"

"The man that helped us said Ba'al had a device that detected us specifically when we stepped through the Gate," Vala said. "If Ba'al went to all of this trouble to trap us, I'm guessing he also has something to prevent us from beaming out."

"Okay, so we wait for the rescue team," Cam revised.

Vala bit her lip and gave an apologetic grimace, saying, "Daniel and I were taken through several entryways to get to this facility. They were all hidden very well."

"What Vala's trying to say is that there's really no hope that any team would ever find this place."

"Yeah, we got that, thanks. There has to be something we can do." Looking from one face to another, Cam got the distinct feeling he was the only one who believed that.

* * *

Fun Fact: My brother-in-law is from Auburn, Kansas (Mitchell's hometown), so I asked him if the high school mascot really was a bee (or whatver that thing was the scared Vala in _Bounty_) Turns out the town has about twenty thousand less citizens than in the show, which had the population at around twenty-one thousand, so Auburn doesn't even have a high school. The students attend the nearby Washburn school district, and the mascot there is the Ichabod, a man who looks an awful lot like Mr. Monopoly. Just thought you guys should know.

A/N: Like I said, not a lot of action in this chapter. There's more in the next one, I promise. Please review and let me know if this chapter was enjoyable, or if I should never try to do humor again.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: What do you mean Stargate isn't mine?! This is outrageous! I demand to speak with...ah, who am I kidding? It's not mine.

A/N: Cam lovers rejoice! This chapter was written for you. Well, not really, but I thought I was being mean to Cam, so I threw in some (ok, a lot) of praise.

A Terrible Mistake  
By CountryPixie

Chapter Four

"Dinner."

"Nope," Cam said.

"Dancing."

"Uh-uh."

"Fruit picking."

"What!" Cam cried. "There's no way…You already knew! That's not fair."

"You bet me I couldn't guess what Sam did on her first date. It's your own fault you didn't check to make sure I didn't already know," Vala said.

"But it's not guessing if you already know!" Cam protested. He looked to his teammates for support, but their grins let him know he wouldn't be getting it.

"Double or nothing?" he asked.

Vala deliberated for a few seconds before saying, "No. I think I'd quite like to see you do the Macarena during our next briefing."

"That's bordering on insubordination, Vala!" Cam whined. "C'mon, anything you want."

"What did you have in mind?"

"What do you want?"

Leaning forward after a few moments of contemplation, Vala whispered something that made Cam grimace. He glanced at Daniel, who suddenly didn't find the situation funny anymore, and nodded in agreement.

"Hey, hey, hey! You can't make bets including other people!" Daniel said quickly.

"You're far too paranoid, darling. The bet has nothing to do with you."

"Then why didn't you say it out loud?" Daniel asked, directing his question to both of them.

"It's not appropriate for your innocent ears," Vala said. Not believing her for a second, Daniel sat back down.

"Okay, ten guesses for what Mitchell did on his first date." Vala rubbed her hands together in anticipation.

"Rodeo."

"Nope."

"Target practice."

"No," Cam said as if he was offended by the thought. "It's not first date material," he explained.

Vala looked deep in thought before slowly breaking into a huge grin. "It wasn't…a haunted house, was it?"

The look of shock on Cam's face was utterly priceless. "How did you…?"

"I never reveal my sources, Cameron. Don't forget to pay up," she ordered.

Cam looked at Daniel guiltily. "What did you bet?" Daniel asked warily.

"Nothing that should concern you, Daniel," Vala said innocently before Cam could reply. Cam's face told a different story.

"If it involves me, Mitchell's not doing it. I told you before, you can't make bets about others."

"Fine," Vala sighed. "You should know, though, Cameron, I always get my winnings somehow."

"I don't doubt that," he muttered. "Enough betting. What now?"

"You just don't want to bet anymore because you're afraid you'll lose your pants," Sam said.

"Hang on! Jackson and Vala get thrown in here in nothin' but their skivvies and you still make fun of me?"

Sam frowned as she thought about it. "It's just funnier when it's you."

Cam stopped protesting, giving it up as a lost cause. "What else is there to do?"

"Besides finding a way out of here?" Daniel asked. "Not much."

"Hey, I'm all for tryin'. It's you guys who think it's impossible."

"Yes, and we've had hours to think now."

"Okay, Einstein. What do ya got?"

"Something is off about this whole situation. I can't quite pin it down, but it's definitely something important…"

"What about Ba'al's execution?" Cam asked. "He said, 'You've all made a terrible mistake.' Do you think this was it? By killing him, we were condemning ourselves to a life of imprisonment because when we finally stumbled across this place he'd never show up?"

"That doesn't really seem like Ba'al's style," Sam said.

"He'd never get to gloat," Vala added.

"Yeah," Daniel said, "and I got the feeling that he expected something to happen after he said that."

"So not that," Cam said. "What else?"

"Well, let's look at this from Ba'al's point of view," Daniel said. "He's living on Earth and gathering as much information as possible. He learns the history, and then mixes it up so that he knew it would fascinate me. He builds this place, probably underground since we were descending most of the time we were being brought here. It took Vala and me about twenty minutes and seven hidden passageways to get to this room, which suggests that he intended to keep us here."

"It'd be smarter to move us to a different planet," Cam said.

"Yes," Daniel said, holding up a finger, "but a rescue team would never find this place and our beaming technology most likely doesn't work." Cam conceded the point with a shrug.

"I guess what I don't understand is why," Daniel said. "Why go through all this trouble instead of just snatching us like most Goa'ulds?"

"Ba'al's always been different than most Goa'ulds," Vala answered. "He prefers to show his strength through wit and power rather than brute force. He's certainly not above destroying a few planets or killing thousands of people if it helps him get his way, but he's always taken a more passive aggressive route towards ruling the galaxy. Well, more aggressive than passive, but you get what I mean," she finished.

"Strangely, yes." Daniel said, looking confused. "And I think you just figured out why he did all this."

"I did?"

"Yes. It's like you said, his main strength is his intelligence. He's the only Goa'uld who actually understands Ancient technology, rather than just using it. He wants to use us to increase his knowledge of both Ancient and Asgard technology. By capturing us quietly, no one will know he has us and he can take as long as he likes to break us."

"I don't know, Jackson. I understand you and Carter, but why would he take us too? No offense guys," he said to Vala and Teal'c. Vala shrugged and Teal'c bowed his head in response.

"Think about it. He's always wanted Vala, or Qetesh, as his queen, and Teal'c as his First Prime."

"And me?"

Daniel opened his mouth to speak, but shut it again, looking uncertain. "Come on, Jackson. I can handle it."

"If I'm right, you'd be the bargaining chip to get the rest of us to break."

"Well, at least I'm worth something," Cam said with an obviously faked grin.

"You're worth a lot, Mitchell. Just…not what Ba'al is looking for…" Daniel finished apologetically.

"He's right, Cam." Sam said. "If he needed it, Ba'al would learn more about piloting from you than anyone else."

"And you have the skills of a Sodan warrior, Colonel Mitchell."

"And you can charm your way out of a bad situation almost as well as I can," Vala added.

"And your perseverance is unmatched by anyone I've ever met," Daniel said.

"Optimism," Sam said, looking to Teal'c.

"Resilience," he said, turning to Vala.

"Loyalty," she said, swinging her body towards Daniel.

"I get it, I get it," Cam said before Daniel could say anything. "Thanks guys."

"You don't need to thank us," Daniel said. "I was going to say 'enthusiasm,' in case you were wondering."

Bringing them back to the matter at hand, Sam cut in. "Daniel, you said you thought this place was underground." Daniel nodded. "If that's the case, there has to be an air supply somewhere."

"Yeah?" Daniel asked.

"We didn't find any in our search for control panels." When she didn't get a response, she explained, "If there are hidden air vents, there may be hidden controls."

"We have already searched the room three times, Colonel Carter. We found neither vents nor controls," Teal'c said.

"I know, but they have to be here somewhere or we'd die. I don't know why I didn't think of it before."

"Hang on," Vala said, staring at the chairs. "Did you check those?"

"Of course," Cam said. "We checked everything."

Ignoring the looks from her teammates, Vala walked to the back of the nearest chair and crouched down. She began to push the designs on the back of the chair, obviously looking for something specific.

"Vala?" Daniel asked.

"No Goa'uld would ever create a room that even he couldn't escape from. With all the trouble the Jaffa have been causing, Ba'al would have had some way to free himself if his followers rebelled and threw him in here." Not finding anything on that chair, she got up and went to the next one.

"What makes you think it's in the chairs?"

"Remember Caius?" she asked.

"That smuggling monk guy with the power coil?" Cam asked.

"That's the one," Vala said with a smile. "One of his favorite smuggling places was underneath the chairs. He always thought it ironic that people could be sitting on what they were looking for." Abandoning that chair, she moved on. "The only problem is that we never used a Ha'tak for smuggling, so the chairs are different and it could be any number of –. Found it," she said as the back of the chair slid open to reveal a gaping hole at the opening of the air duct.

"Neither the best place for a vent or a very good delivery system, but I doubt the chair was airtight, so that solves the problem of air supply," Sam said.

"But not the problem of how we're gettin' out of here."

"What happened to that optimism, Cameron?" Vala teased from the next chair over. Her teammates turned to her, not realizing that she had already moved on. Pressing three symbols, the back of that chair also slid open. Inside, the chair was hollow underneath the seat.

"Jackpot!" Cam said, leaping forward and grapping the zat. Noticing that Teal'c was staring at him, he reluctantly handed the weapon to Teal'c.

"And I'll take this," Vala said, picking up the hand device left behind. "Let's see what's behind Door Number 5."

"Jackpot," Sam breathed, echoing Cam's words when she saw the crystals inside the last chair. She and Vala leaned down and began to rearrange the crystals. Within thirty seconds, they managed to open the door. Teal'c readied the zat, but no one came in.

"Let's go home," Cam said, heading towards the door to take a peak of the hall.

"Wait!" Sam cried, but she wasn't able to stop Cam from smacking into the force field. His groans were muffled behind his hand as he held his nose. "I tried," Sam said.

"And there we go," Vala said, moving another crystal and disabling the force field.

"Now are we ready?" Cam asked, one hand still covering his nose. Vala gave one nod of her head in reply.

"Okay," Cam said, peering down the long hallway. "Two guards at each end. Vala, Teal'c – think you can get all four without alerting anyone else?"

"Sure we can. Right, Muscles?"

"Indeed."

"Do it," Cam said, moving out of the way.

Vala and Teal'c moved stealthily down the hall in opposite directions. When they were both in position, they nodded to each other and moved in. None of the guards knew what hit them.

"Nice," Cam whispered, moving to help Teal'c drag the bodies back to the cell. Daniel and Sam ran over to Vala. When all four guards were in the cell, Cam and Teal'c grabbed the zats while Daniel, Vala, and Sam all reached for a pair of boots.

"Carter?" Cam asked, wondering why she was stealing the guard's boots when she wasn't barefoot.

"What? I'm not trying to escape in these heels," she said in answer to his questioning gaze.

"Right. What are _you_ doing?" he asked, noticing Vala tear the bottom two inches of his jacket off in one strip.

"Seriously, Cameron, you need to lay off the snacks. This thing is huge," she said as she tied the cloth around her waist to form a belt. "Much better."

"Hey, I'm perfectly fit. You're just tiny," he said. "Okay, any ideas where our GDOs are?" Everyone looked at each other for a few seconds, saying nothing.

"Alpha site it is, then. Let's go."

* * *

A/N: If you can guess how Vala knew about Cam's first date, I'll give you whatever you want. Well, I'm lying, but I will think you're really awesome. There's a few possible answers, but one in particular that I'm looking for. Let me know, and you might as well review while you're at it, right?


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Stargate is not mine. Please excuse me while I go cry.

A/N: Deepest apologies for the delay on this chapter. My only excuse is midterms, but I hope you all will understand. On a lighter note, I wanted to thank everyone who alerted/favorited either this story or me. I'm all warm and fuzzy inside just thinking about it. To those of you who reviewed, you guys are rockstars! I can't thank you enough for the kind words and encouragement! Oh, and very quickly, I have to say congratulations to **JAJJAJ**, **acer-sigma**, **whyistherumgone99**, and **E. Nagrom** for all guessing possible sources for Vala's knowledge about Cam. They guessed Wendy, Darrell, and Amy, who I all thought could be sources, but not the one I was looking for. And thanks to **Whirlwind421** for the inside scoop on the bee which is actually a hornet. Thanks for solving that mystery! Now, I hope you all enjoy the final chapter.

A Terrible Mistake  
Chapter Five

Daniel peered around a corner, holding up a hand to stop his teammates when he saw four guards stationed around a door. Retreating, he led the group back down the hall they were currently in so they could talk. Turning to Vala, he asked, "You're sure this is the way we came?"

"Positive," she whispered. "Do you not agree?"

"No, I do. Just wanted to check," he replied, trailing off as he thought about what he had seen.

"Care to share with the rest of the class, Jackson?" Cam asked.

Daniel started and shook his head as if he had forgotten he was in the middle of an escape. "Well, Vala and I are both sure this is the way out, but there are four guys guarding a door that weren't there when we were brought in."

"So?"

"So, if they're Kasdi's guards, which I suspect they are, our GDOs could be in there. I think it's worth checking out."

"Right. Teal'c, you're with me. We're taking out the guards. Carter, you and Vala take point on the room. Jackson, keep an eye on the hall." Getting nods from his team, Cam got into position opposite Teal'c. With a nod of his head, he and Teal'c sprang around the corner and started firing. Teal'c took out the two on the left, but the guard farthest from Cam managed to duck and fire back. Cam somersaulted to avoid the zat blast, firing as he came up. Sam and Vala were moving towards the door before the guard even hit the ground, Teal'c and Cam right behind them.

Entering the room, Vala immediately trained her zat on Kasdi. "Don't move!" she commanded loudly, not caring who heard.

Finishing her sweep of the room, Sam focused on the commotion in the center of the room. Kasdi stood directly behind a badly beaten man tied to a chair, holding a knife to the man's throat. Next to them was a table holding several utensils that looked decidedly unpleasant. For a second, Sam thought Kasdi had already slit the man's throat, but then she realized the blood had run down his face. Hearing someone behind her, Sam spun around only to come face to face with Daniel and Cam.

"Put your weapons on the floor and surrender or he dies," Kasdi ordered as he tightened his grip, causing the man to let out a whimper.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Daniel said quickly. "Let's just…be rational about this. No one has to lose in this situation. Just give Neiram to us, we'll leave, and you'll never hear from us again. Problem solved."

"So you confirm that Neiram did help you? When you were discovered in his house, there was no way to tell if you had simply hid there or if he led you."

"You did all this to a man you weren't even sure was a traitor?" Sam asked in disgust.

"An example had to be set. If a person does not actively oppose the enemies of Lord Ba'al, he is as much an enemy. Neiram will be executed."

"That makes no sense. Plus, you're not really giving us much incentive to surrender by telling us you're going to kill him anyway," Cam pointed out.

"Kasdi, listen to me before you do something you can't undo," Daniel pleaded. "You have a few knives and a hostage set to be executed. There are five of us with zat guns and a hand device. We've also incapacitated most of your guards. Your best option is to just let us go."

For the first time, Kasdi looked as if he were thinking about giving in. His body seemed to be deflating as his shoulders dropped, his eyes fell to the floor, and his hold on the now unconscious Neiram relaxed slightly. When he looked up, however, his eyes told a different story.

"There is no honor in living if I betray my Lord. If I am to die, I will do so with the knowledge that I have defeated his greatest enemies." With no further warning, Kasdi threw the knife as hard as he could at Daniel's chest and reached for another on the table next to him. A shot from Cam's zat knocked him out before he even touched one.

"Daniel!" Vala yelled as she ran to where Daniel lay on the floor.

"Wow," Daniel said, sitting up from where he had thrown himself in an attempt to avoid the knife. "That almost never happens."

"What never happens?" Cam asked as he tried to untie Neiram.

"The handle impacted me. Not the blade."

"Something actually went right for you? That's weird."

"I know, right?"

"Darling, are you actually complaining about not being skewered?" Vala asked.

"I'm not complaining. It just seems noteworthy."

"Indeed."

"Whoa, Teal'c! When did you come in? I thought you were keeping a lookout?" Cam questioned.

"I am capable of guarding the hall from my position."

"Yeah, of course you are. How's he looking, Carter?"

"He's got at least one broken rib, maybe two. The disturbing part is that it looks like Kasdi carved some marks into his face, but I'm not able to tell what they are with all the blood. He's okay to be moved, though."

"Teal'c, you wanna give me a hand?" Cam asked. Each man put one of Neiram's arms around his neck and stood, pulling the man up with them. "Jackson, Vala, you guys are up again."

"We're close to the exit. Maybe a hundred yards or so," Daniel estimated.

The group left the room, leaving Kasdi unconscious on the floor. After five long minutes of shuffling along, the escapees reached the exit.

"No guards?" Cam wondered.

Daniel shrugged. "There weren't any when Vala and I were brought in. Don't ask me why, though."

"I think he just did, darling," Vala said, ignoring Daniel when he rolled his eyes.

"I believe it would be prudent to leave before Kasdi regains consciousness," Teal'c said in an effort to hurry his teammates along. Even after twelve years he was still amazed by how the Tau'ri could so easily be distracted from important tasks by the most trivial matters.

"Right you are, Muscles," Vala agreed. Taking the panel off the wall, Vala quickly rearranged the crystals. "Eight seconds. One for the record books," she said proudly.

"Yeah, great job, Princess," Cam said, placating her, "but we actually have to get home to share your achievement, so let's go."

Leaving the facility, the team found themselves in darkness. Stumbling over uneven terrain and roots the planet's two moons did little to illuminate, they managed to walk almost a mile before they were forced to stop when Neiram began to regain consciousness.

"Easy, easy," Cam said as he and Teal'c lowered the man to the ground. Daniel and Vala crouched next to him.

"Hey, Neiram," Vala greeted when his eyes opened. "Nice to see you again."

Looking thoroughly confused, Neiram stuttered, "H-h-how did …?"

"How did you get here?" Daniel supplied. Neiram nodded his head slightly, moaning at the pain it caused.

"Take it easy. We found you when Kasdi was…questioning you," Daniel said. At the mention of Kasdi's name, Neiram's eyes filled with fear and he began to struggle.

"You're alright, you're alright," Daniel said quickly. "We're a long way from him now. We figured we'd take you back to Earth with us, and then you can go wherever you want from there. You're welcome to stay, too." Neiram looked slightly less panicked, but his stress was still evident.

"You up for movin', buddy?" Cam asked.

"I am."

"Great. We should get goin'."

Taking Cam's place, Daniel helped Neiram up, releasing him into Teal'c's care once he was standing. Just as they were getting ready to leave, Teal'c held up his hand. Listening, the rest of the team could soon hear the sounds of approaching footsteps too. Readying their weapons, the team prepared to defend themselves.

"Colonel Mitchell?"

Cam held a hand up to signal silence in response to the whisper, unsure which of his teammates would betray their position at a time like this.

"Colonel Mitchell, is that you?"

"Reynolds?!" Cam whispered back, both relieved and exasperated. When SG-3 stepped out of the woods around them, they all relaxed a little.

"What happened?" Reynolds asked.

"Long story, as usual. You guys got a GDO?"

"Of course, sir."

"Excellent. You saved us a trip to the Alpha site, 'cause none of us thought to check for one when we saved Neiram here. We should get back to Earth before the guys we saved him from come after us."

"Yes, sir."

With SG-3's flashlights, the last mile back to the Gate went much faster than the first. Lieutenant James dialed home and sent the GDO code. Hardly believing their luck on this mission, SG-1 stepped through the event horizon, leaving Ba'al's prison behind.

* * *

"Well, it's not often I get SG-1 in my infirmary in one piece after they've been held hostage," Carolyn remarked.

"We're as shocked as you," Cam said. "The bad guy even threw a knife at Jackson, but the hilt hit him instead of the blade."

"Wow, Dr. Jackson. I'm impressed."

"I have been practicing," Daniel said with a grin and a shrug.

"As for Mr. Neiram, he's going to be just fine," Carolyn said, back to business. "There were marks carved into his cheeks that he says mark him as a traitor, but, fortunately, the man who did it was no expert in torture. He probably thought he was cutting deeply because there was so much blood, but wounds on the head always bleed profusely. The scars should fade to the point they'll be hardly noticeable."

"That's good to hear," Daniel said.

"Yes, it is," she said. "Okay, you're done here. General Landry wants to see you in the briefing room. Oh, Vala, Sam, could you guys hang around a minute?" Carolyn waited until the men had left the infirmary before continuing. "Are we still on for girl's night, or do you two just want to relax?"

"Girl's night would be wonderful," Sam said.

"Definitely," Vala said. "Besides, we need new dirt on the flyboy," she said with an evil grin. "I love making him think I can read his mind."

* * *

"Seven hours, sir?" Cam asked in disbelief. "We were gone for seven hours?"

"I believe that's what I said, Colonel," Landry answered. SG-1 had just given their accounts of the mission when he had told them it had all happened in the course of seven hours.

"Why did you send SG-3 after only seven hours, sir?" Sam asked.

"SG-7 had been visiting another planet that these people seemed to have reached. Fortunately, they had heard of Ba'al's death, so they explained what was going on. Colonel Reynolds and the rest of SG-3 volunteered to go since it was their information that sent you to the planet."

"Seven hours?" Vala cut in, unwilling to believe they had been imprisoned for less than thirty-six.

"Anything else?" Landry asked. When he got no response, he continued, "In that case, you're all dismissed. Your next briefing is at 0800 tomorrow."

"Yes, sir," Cam and Sam said as they stood.

"Seven hours?" Vala called to Landry's back as he entered his office. "I hate it when people steal my watch. It's so rude," she complained.

"It _did_ feel a lot longer," Daniel agreed, puzzled. "If you include the walk there, the capture, the escape, and the walk back, all of us would have been in that cell together for less than five, maybe four hours."

"See, that's just not possible," Cam protested, hitting the table multiple times for emphasis. "We hang out all the time and it never feels four times longer than it actually was."

"I believe there is a Tau'ri expression that explains this," Teal'c said. "'Time flies when one is having fun.' In this case, the opposite holds true."

"I don't know, Teal'c. I was having a lot of fun," Sam said, grinning at Cam. "Hey, Daniel, Vala? Have you guys ever heard the story about how Cameron was the MVP for his football team his senior year?"

Inside his office, Landry chuckled along with the SG-1, sans Cam, as he listened in on his flagship's team's conversation through the briefing room phone.

* * *

"Really? You went fruit picking on your first date?" Carolyn asked. She, Sam and Vala were curled up on Vala's bed sipping wine and surrounded by chocolate and magazines. In the background, Sandra Bullock was trying to save Miss United States from an exploding crown.

"What is so strange about that?" Sam asked. "It's really very nice."

"I believe you, but you have to admit that it's not a very common first date."

"Yes, and it helped me win a bet with Cam because of it," Sam announced. "Speaking of bets, what did you win, Vala? Something to do with Daniel?"

"Oh, that," Vala said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "It's nothing horrible. The next five planets we go to, Cameron has to tell everyone we meet that Daniel and I are together."

"You do that already," Sam said.

"I know, but for some reason no one ever believes me. Hopefully things will be different if the news comes from Cameron."

"And if he doesn't do it since Daniel wasn't in the bet?"

"Let's just say he might end up missing some important articles of clothing the next time we share a tent offworld. Speaking of which, Carolyn, have you ever heard the story of Cameron and the bee?"


End file.
